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A Colonel's Tale

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This new “Wii” video game console astounds me with its usefulness. Normally I wouldn't be one to play such things, but I've made an exception here. I am currently typing up this message and posting it using a free beta version of the Wii's Internet Channel. Rather pointless since I already have a computer for this stuff, but nonetheless, it is quite fun to have web pages show up in giant size on my television.

In other news, Christmastime is almost here! About damn time, too. I swear my frozen turkey would've begun rotting out of sheer boredom if it had been forced to wait any longer in my fridge. I'll be hosting a grand party over the next two days at my Station Square mansion - anyone and everyone is invited to attend. We'll have free food, but BYOE (Bring Your Own Eggnog).

P.S. Yvette has gone stark raving nuts over the holidays. I swear she's slowly turning into that Martha person I once hired as an interior decorator and subsequently fired because she replaced all my wooden cabinets with tinfoil ones.
Current Location:
Den (Station Square mansion)
Current Mood:
curious curious
Current Music:
Whatever music this console keeps playing as I use it
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Farewell, November. I shall miss you dearly.

It should come as no surprise to anyone who knows me that Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday of the year. I always stage massive turkey hunts in the first two weeks of the month, and then host a week-long party that ends on the holiday itself.

This year, unfortunately, things did not quite work out. Bad weather, conflicting schedules, low turnout and every other possible hindrance forced me to cut short the hunting and cancel the party. It was an astonishing disappointment, and I can only hope the situation will be better next year.

There is still Christmas Dinner to look forward to, however. The 14-pound turkey I managed to snag on my second day of hunting is currently awaiting its place on the festively-decorated dinner table. I can hardly wait.

Current Location:
The Kitchen (Station Square Mansion)
Current Mood:
hopeful hopeful
Current Music:
Mozart's "Turkish March"
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Today I concluded that I would finally take a sampling of popular culture, despite my usual objections to it on the grounds that what is popular isn't always good. I figured that to protest against something, you must first have a clear idea of what it is you are protesting against.

So I turned on the TV, shunned my usual favorite channels, and began to glance around at what else was being aired. Lo and behold, the first station I flipped to had some sort of political pundit show on. Not exactly popular culture, but what the heck. I watched it.

After laughing off-and-on for about a half hour, the show ended and I came to one startling realization: Stephen Colburn should run for President.

Let's face it: the government REALLY needs a sense of humor. I doubt our current President laughs even when he's being tickled by feathers from all angles. Heck, that man could carve his face into the side of the Ice Cap mountains and it would change expression about as often as he does. Allowing someone that knows how to be funny to sit behind the big desk would help substantially in getting the country to remove the giant stick wedged up its collective butt.

Now, of course there are problems with this idea. It is one thing to comment on and make fun of the current government but quite another to try running it. Luckily, that's what a cabinet is for. Stephen could, with careful selection, pick some good people to assist him in governing and tell him what all the big fancy words in the briefing memos mean.

Would the country be better under the leadership of a person like Colburn? Hell if I know, I'm not psychic. But what IS certain is that regardless of whether he does a good or a bad job, his term would be far more entertaining than the current President's. And considering government's waning status in the minds of the people, that's a good thing.
Current Location:
Station Square Mansion (The Study)
Current Mood:
amused amused
Current Music:
Spring from "The Four Seasons"
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Some of you probably know me; most probably don't. Not yet, at least. I suppose an introduction is in order for the more ignorant among you.

My name is Colonel Harrison W. Harper, known in most parts as simply "The Colonel". I run a restaurant business called Green Hill Chicken, which can be found in over two thousand locations worldwide and is headquartered in Station Square (motto: "If We Aren't Attacked At Least Once Per Week, Life Isn't Worth Living"). I own several mansions, a summer home, a winter home, and a home for a season I made up once because I was bored. Needless to say, I am filthy stinking rich. However, I am also a strong advocate of noblesse oblige and generally prefer to use my wealth to assist those who are less fortunate.

Starting to sound familiar now? Good.

I joined this site because I determined that I need to get more in touch with the customers and show them that I am not like other CEOs who don't give a crap about "the common folk" as long as their paychecks keep coming in regularly. I prefer not to lose touch with my own commoner roots, and as such am willing to speak at length with anyone and listen to whatever concerns they may have. Should any of you out there have any questions about GHC or myself, feel free to drop by and speak up.
Current Location:
Station Square Mansion
Current Mood:
relaxed relaxed
Current Music:
Beethoven's Symphony #9
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